Without You

I don’t like who I am, when I’m with you. And I’m not here to point any fingers, to push blame, or accuse. It may sound so…but those are not my intentions. I just need to breathe..the truth sets us free..and this is MY truth..how I see…me..you..us…we.

I miss the old me. When all that’s beautiful and lovely..was much more than just skin deep.

I just can’t find peace here..contending with body images and all the lusts that come with it…it’s not me. I’m much more than surface shallow…hollow…deep

I think, I speak, I hear, and I see!!…I am more than the woman that likes to be seen…seen..seen..here I am..look at me!

I can’t handle the subjectivity..I’m objecting to the referencing…I need to breathe..real life..refreshing.

…deep beneath shallow streams..much further than sandy shores will allow one to explore…

I am ocean floors.

I know we’re both on our own journeys..so maybe it’s best just to accept it…love and live with it..grow separately into perfection ..in our own time being…be.

Different directions

I don’t like this new me..reminds me of the ..old old me…before Grace got hold of me..and set me free…to fly..to breath…to be.

You see when I’m with you, I look at the world so differently. The I, the me, the you, the he, the she, the we…and it’s ugly…vain..

Vanity

It’s competition driven. Fear laiden..trying to compete and to please.

I hate dressing to impress.. defending the sexy in me..in order to get you to see.. It disgusts me honestly…pungent… exhausting robbing

I crave cognitive therapy!!!!

My dreams are way to vivid to sleep beneath these sheets. They just aren’t fitted….for a Queen.

To feel bigger, better, next level,….than the rest… This is my mindset with you..and it’s hideous..contagious..reckless..obsessive

It contaminates.. my whole being…decays..like cavities…..exaggerating all that’s mad in me… A bad seed…diseased..

Anxiety from society

Hussshh be stilled ..quite me.

Silence please!

No rivalries!

I don’t want this… Primping ..pressed lips..the right fits… to get the world to see me…what me? Figurine? Please fantasize of having me? Repulsing…

And what I use to have, was what I do believe, every woman secretly wishes and hopes to keep….whether she’s aware of it..or has not yet tasted it….freedom to be!

She! Just that. No bags. No masks.

No comparing..no alluding to sexuality…no need for glamour magazines.

Give me Life..National Geographic..and documentaries….hehehe just being funny for a moment hunny. Geek in me!

Redeem me!

See what’s beneath oh pretty please…inherently.. essentially…. Breathe in she…all of me: soul, mind ..no limiting…

Do you HEAR me!?

Free to love..free to breathe..free to be..beautiful…deep…deep…deep…interior…..

Lose the mirrors.. Superior

Fearless in the face of aging

Fearless in the face of these standards and all the expectations asked of me..

I want to be more than what the eyes perceive….I want the mind to read..all that makes me..me

Captivated by my wise sayings..wink wink..this impresses me…

I don’t want to be just another flaunting figure.. undressed by imaginations..raping

Man it’s sickness…

I might come off as judgy..but trust me..I’m arguing against the spirit that sits on the throne behind the masterminds of these systems…

And I know there are plenty of wonderful women that can handle real physical beauty without appealing to the allure of the 5 senses..I see you..you have my respect and full attention..

I see YOU..and you’re living proof that there are still women who are content with all that they are..without all the extra inventions to get them feeling that appearance and competition is the mission

..All aboard!! Mindless drifting….imprisoned..

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