Life has been crazy for me lately. Possibly more on the inside of me than anything; the outside chaos is just the product. Really though, I’ve been in self-pity mode. Crying “mercy”, as if life has me pinned to the ground, arm contorted behind my back.
I am in that run mode. Flight..screw the fight..it’s always been easier that way for me. To run from it all. Until it’s time to play catch up that is.
Any hoot, I’ve just had the mind of a spoiled brat lately. But, leave it to Jesus to come through when I’m being a rebel. Hiding away and giving no thoughts to what needs minded: When I finally say I don’t want to even try to seek Him, Life, all the deep things that always occupy my busy brain…the baby goes to sleep early(never happens), my teenager is out with his uncle, and I just FINALLY have a moment of solitude. I feel drawn to the Bible. Something which my opinion has changed dramatically about over the last year, but in a good way.
Ok ok, to the message: This last week I kept having the verse, “but who do you say that I am?”, re-run through my mind. I typically know when something seems to be “for me” when it keeps cycling back around.
And tonight, just now, I pick up where I left off in Mark, and there it is! That same verse! Which to me is confirmation that this was meant for me to ponder.
One thing my mind has changed about to some degree, is how deep Jesus’ words, parables, and lessons can be. Many times in my life, I had read it all as a hard, serious, literal thing. Needing certainty and clearly defined edges was a must.
But now, I’m seeing how one little saying can be packed with so much. Whether it’s for me, for you..it can mean diffrent things..even for the moment. Most of His sayings were meant to transcend, to get us to sit back and really think of life..in meaningful and significant ways. Most the time these days, it seems they’ve been treated as death threats. But to the contrary, they were always meant to bring life, love, freedom, hope, and light.
There were no intentions for oppression, in His lessons.
My deeper truth to Jesus highlighting this for me, has to do with where I am in life: mentally, spiritually, financially…what not. And He’s personally asking me, ” but who do YOU say that I am?”
It doesn’t matter what Tom, Dick, or Harry have to say. It does not matter what the Catholics, Liberals, Conservatives, Charismatics, Jesuits, Atheists, Diests, Buddhists..your mama, daddy, best friend or boo thang think. Hell, it don’t even matter what the plethora of Christians and their dogmatic denominations, doctrines, theories, and translations have to say. What He asks..is Who do I say He is? Who has He been for me? For you?
The God you know?
The God you know has led you, rescued you, shown you, inspired you, lifted you..in numerous ways and in and through numerous veins?
For me it was not about Him asking me WHAT I believed about Him. But who I knew Him as. Who deep within He has been for me. It implied much deeper depths than some shallow mess of opinions and hearsay, ya dig?
For me He has revealed Himself, He has spoken, He has healed me,, forgave me, sustained me, provided, led, fed..you name it. He’s been really patient and gracious.
He has shown Himself through dreams, meditation, words of others, experiences, simple things, a child’s face, nature scapes..messages from other tongues..people I would have never considered…
A lot of times I sense Him with “the other” than I do with your typical Bible carrying, faithful church adhere’er. Imagine that. He’s a lot bigger than I had imagined..that He would be.
And He still keeps revealing He is so much more to me…..than I will ever perceive. He is love though..I have seen.. I believe.