I’ve noticed I’ve become somewhat numb to death lately. Maybe it’s just that I don’t fear it like I once did? Or my views of the afterlife have changed?
Four people around my age recently died. All within the last several months. Two of them I was closer to, the other two were a former classmate and co-worker. The first three died in their sleep. Heart failure is the theory. No autopsies were done to confirm.
This last death was a suicide.
What I noticed was how I felt relatively at peace for the first three. I believed they were Ok. Happy now, free. My deepest sympathies were for the family and loved ones left hurting.
This last one, I finally expressed real grief for. Sorrow felt. Which I see as unusual due to the fact I was much closer to the others.
But it wasn’t in his death that I grieved(even though I believe he to is OK, happy and free now). But it was in knowing how much pain one must be LIVING in to make such a decision.
I cried not for his death, but his life.