It’s not that I want my world to change(the things around me). Even though I complain and it may seem that way.
But in reality, I just want this pain inside to subside.
It’s not a subtle thing, it’s intense. Like an itch…
That you can’t quite scratch, yet it doesn’t itch….
It insists on causing me to feel like … something quite terrible is going to happen at any moment.
As if a tornado were on its way and you were in its path,
Or your child just fell into the lake or ran out into the road……
And you have that instant fear arise within you..that primal drive that is indeed intended to keep one alive..
Your car is speeding out of control.. and you know you are going to crash
Or you are being chased by a stranger
You know, that feeling, that violent threat of danger?
Shit, prob-ably, may-be…
The emotions that one would feel in these situations.. the fear and alarm…the panic
Those feelings, I can feel, many times constantly.. for no rhyme or reason.
Minutes on end, unending.
Until they decide to let me go…for another time..another night..another fight
Jesus Help Me
Jesus Save Me
To be Me