Today

I need stillness, I need quite, I need silence to get by….and I seldom ever get this

So much shit

All around me

It don’t quit

I can’t handle too many noises…. what is it, I don’t get it

I need limits

I tried to fix this

I went everywhere and to everyone imaginable in attempts to relieve it…to be freed from it

No one could comprehend the tension within

Like mad men

Angst within

Merciless nervousness

I’m always fucking drowning in

They couldn’t handle it

Demonized it

But they’ve never been places where your so stressed and gone crazy that you can’t help but react like a caged animal in fear of everything…

If you felt this too…I don’t think you could live with it

If it hadn’t been for years of constant suffering from this, I prolly would not be able to cope too long…this shit is dangerous

You hate yourself… you can’t get over it

I’ve lived with this… it’s a horror flick

And you still all decide how to define it…how and why I act and feel like this.

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