Today

I am in that house again. The one Jesus is at. I am at the table.

This time I have my head down on the table and I am pulling my hair and then punching myself in the face over and over.

I’m sure this is just my own imagination. Symbolic of how much I hate myself. Not that it is right, but this is how I feel.

I didn’t stay long enough to see how Jesus would respond. I’m too stubborn and childlike right now.

5 thoughts on “Today

  1. I think if you had stayed, you would have been given bread and wine. Since you didn’t, He is searching for you to bring you back safe. That’s what I think.

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    1. I came across this in the basement on an old index card I once had hanging in my last house: ” it is done! I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of life, without payment.” Rev21:6

      And this one was there with it: ” Come, and let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.” Rev 22:17

      I found these like 2 days ago. So very timely with what you are saying 🤗🙏.

      I see these verses quite diff now then I did when they were hanging in that last house. Now they are more inviting in that without price to me now implies being perfect. Having your own sacrifice to offer. Sinlessness. He just says come, if you want to. Come and drink, no questions asked. No hoops to jump through or creeds to recite. He declares who he is, and we are invited to partake. He produces the water, thus the life.

      Liked by 1 person

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