Jesus

That's where I want you to be; unsure-yet still trusting me. Having tasted enough, to know... Yet not needing to know... Just knowing, that I Am. And, you are. Knowing, I am More than you need, and always enough.. Not needing certainty of mind...but honesty of heart.. I Am here and there, always. Let your … Continue reading Jesus

Today

Oh the time wasted. Chasing certainty, understanding, a belief. Debating, accumulating knowledge to confirm what I had been TOLD and TAUGHT. Study study Jesus the subject Yet nothing was done..not much.. that resembled His teaching. I was fulfilled Yet others left lacking It was about my getting it right...while those precious lives and hearts all … Continue reading Today

The Right Thing is….

All that we need to do, is the RIGHT thing. Not fight to avoid the sinful things, and adhere to all the religious ones. But, quite oneself and be willing to ask what the right thing is, in any given circumstance, situation, or season. All have been given an answer. Our inner voice/soul/connection to God. … Continue reading The Right Thing is….

What is Your Cross?

When we look at the crux of the Gospel and what Jesus taught we can see how it is profoundly simple, yet challenging. To just love. Have we taught that? Learned that? If it’s not all about the “law”, but love, what does that look and sound like? And how are we acting on law, … Continue reading What is Your Cross?

Life, Light and Love.

Does it give life? Restore? Heal? Protect? Shed warm, revealing, gentle light? Are the followers of any particular path fostering life, light, and love? Are they moving more and more towards it? Are they at peace, is it easy to be in their presence? What do their words and lifestyles speak of? Are they moving … Continue reading Life, Light and Love.

Vision Of Surrender.

Blue sky, few clouds. Ocean far, ocean wide, no shores to be found. On my back, arms and legs stretched way out. Floating upon calm waves..rocking me to hushed sleep...above these deep seas. Nothing in my power. All is well. I let go. I surrender to this river. Arms stretched..legs out...face to the sky. I … Continue reading Vision Of Surrender.

Gang Banging in the Pews.

I see in myself this same pattern one finds when teens choose gangs. That longing for belonging, leadership, purpose. When the family unit does not seem to give what is needed or presumed needed, one ventures off to find it elsewhere. And though that elsewhere may not be healthy, the feeling of belonging and significance … Continue reading Gang Banging in the Pews.

I don’t Know What This Is

God, often I wonder what you think of me, Cuz I know what I think of me. And lately I've been fighting, some demons and it's frightening. Too much thinking in the night time, in the morning nothing looks right. Legendary Abstract Who's to say? She's all that! Broken homes, too many fights Booze and … Continue reading I don’t Know What This Is

Does God Want us Whole or Adherents?

As I sat here praying, I asked God what He felt about my interest in other spiritual leaders. Some of whom my old self would have considered heretical or wolves in sheep's clothing. Was it dangerous to my soul? Am I being led astray, along a winding path toward hell? Or is there also truth, … Continue reading Does God Want us Whole or Adherents?

Consume

"Whatever the field of physical or moral sciences you deal with, you will be given no rest by the mass of things to be learnt or investigated. And to enable matters of this range and scale to find unrestricted hospitality in our minds, everything superfluous must be turned out. Virtue(for example), will not bring herself … Continue reading Consume

Weeping at Jesus’s Table

I am having images of me and Jesus at His table again. In the home. (See previous posts about Jesus and I at His table). We are in our typical seats. I have myself pulled up to the table and my left ear pressed against it. My arms are down in my lap. And I … Continue reading Weeping at Jesus’s Table

My God

If there is one thing I can say with full conscience confidence.. Is that I have saught You diligently. Like the Hound Of Heaven in my own sense..I've been in pursuit of You.. I have been discouraged, but never forsaken. I've been mistaken, but You never have left me. I may have been blinded, but … Continue reading My God

Within

Lord, I am tired of all the voices. All the he said she said. All the "opinions" and "facts". I still haven't a clue because the voices are so different. They cannot agree. They speak of only their differences from the other..why they are right..and they are wrong. There is no soundness..they all are confused. … Continue reading Within

Jesus and My Tantrum

So sometimes I have these scenes I go through with me and Jesus. And today(read previous post) is one of those days. In these scenes I am with Him and usually talking or resting in this house (see other posts on this of mine). Today though we are in my house and also another room. … Continue reading Jesus and My Tantrum

Cause No Death(Sin)

It comes quite natural for me to let my negative feelings be known. Bitching, complaining, moaning. Airing out why life's unfair to me. Placing dishes in the sink a little louder than normal to express my frustrations. You get what I mean. Expressing myselt so others are aware. I've been trying to get better. As … Continue reading Cause No Death(Sin)

The Right Thing To Do?

I catch my spiritual life being a lot more simpler lately. I have always tried to complicate it. Make it managed, controlled, systematic. But lately I find God telling me to , "just BE" anytime my mind gets to racing and I want to make Him and life more technical and doctrinal than He prob … Continue reading The Right Thing To Do?

Jesus and Velveeta

I made a rotel dip. Today I was left with the remnants: rock solid, dried up, caked on cheese dip on several dishes. Me being me, "why not just discard it"? Throw the hole dang thing away, bowl and all! Wouldn't be the first time. But, I decided to be more resourceful and put them … Continue reading Jesus and Velveeta

Oh Faithful Church Folk.

Where have we sent people? After getting pregnant, I remember running into someone I had known from the church system I had originally came to Christ in. This system is very legalistic. You do. Or you don't. I remember she asked me, was I going back to church? Was I attending somewhere? She was not … Continue reading Oh Faithful Church Folk.

Who do you say that I am?

Life has been crazy for me lately. Possibly more on the inside of me than anything; the outside chaos is just the product. Really though, I've been in self-pity mode. Crying "mercy", as if life has me pinned to the ground, arm contorted behind my back. I am in that run mode. Flight..screw the fight..it's … Continue reading Who do you say that I am?

Jesus and The Map

I sit back praying and asking Jesus about this map that I seen while in prayer a while back(see previous post); and this is the insight I've gained: The map in a sense, represents the world. Or one's quest to understand the world. And the things on the map represent life: the "stops" along the … Continue reading Jesus and The Map

At Home With Jesus Again

Had another visit with Jesus in the house(see an earlier post with same title). This time it was a lot briefer. He was in His usual chair and I in mine, at the large table. Spread across the length of the table was a map. I was busy focused on this map; and all I … Continue reading At Home With Jesus Again

Christians?

As I sit here and ask God, "what does abiding in You look like?" "What does not being conformed to this world look like?" It amazes me, how different His answers seem to be, compared to what I've been taught and told. From what I thought and expected. From how I've been. Almost everything has … Continue reading Christians?

Change

We can only hide for so long. We can only cover up..mask it..for a moment. We can only practice behavior modification for a time..but before we know it..all comes to the light. It can be so deceitful..even to our very selves. We can make others believe..we can make-believe..we can pretend..for so long..that even we believe. … Continue reading Change

At Home With Jesus: Visions and Scenes.

So last year sometime, I began practicing contemplative prayer and allowing Jesus to speak to me. Primarily through pictures and images. And ever since then, most of the time, these "scenes" center around a home. A home where Jesus and I live. And this home is what my idea of a safe, cozy place would … Continue reading At Home With Jesus: Visions and Scenes.

Visions of Jesus ❤ He speaks.

I was reading a morning devotional and it was about believing God's love for us. Trusting it. Receiving it. How our personal ideas and views of God are central to our lives...how we live and feel about ourselves and the world around us. The devotional instructed me to ask God to give me a song … Continue reading Visions of Jesus ❤ He speaks.

Empty Calories (Spiritual).

For a while now, longer than I'd like to admit(because I have not listened); I've felt Jesus reminding me..to "come to Him.", to "come and drink", "lay my burdens down", "come boldy before the thrown of grace"...abide..eat....dine. He's been reminding me that it is IN HIM I find my strength, my answers, my spiritual cravings … Continue reading Empty Calories (Spiritual).

When God speaks directly to your circumstance.

I never open this devotional..it's been a long time. Crazy because my 9 month old drug some books of my shelf..and while picking them up I decided to read this. If you see my last post you will see the significance. 1. Of my baby being the one pulling out the books..yet providing the answer(My … Continue reading When God speaks directly to your circumstance.

Right Where You Should Be.

There is nothing wrong with this season you are in. Though it feel like prison. Though you seem stuck and trapped. Though it feels like a wilderness; dry and fruitless. Though you believe there is no success, no movement...no gain..no covered ground..Oh..if you only knew!The upside down Kingdom! The subversive way! The... so unlike the … Continue reading Right Where You Should Be.

It’s Me Oh’Lord; Standing in the Need of Prayer!

Recently I had been pondering and praying about some behavior and attitude problems I have been struggling with. Specifically, ones that can express themselves in unhealthy ways, causing hurt to others. As I was considering these things I felt The Holy Spirit remind me of Peter's betrayal/denial of Christ; and how Jesus responded to it. … Continue reading It’s Me Oh’Lord; Standing in the Need of Prayer!

He Loves Your Ugly

I remember my last stent of darkness. Sadly is has been a familiar friend most of my life. But, it don't stick around like it use to..when The Light is here. When Jesus is welcomed. But there are times, when day becomes night again. Joy appears to be swallowed in fear...shame...insecurity..sin...giving up..and giving in. Hello..I'm … Continue reading He Loves Your Ugly

F@*# It ALL..that’s how I feel today..and maybe I will tmrw too.

For the past half-decade and some, I've been trying to be it all. The very best I can. The example for Christ, the mother who understands, the friend who only sees the best in others, despite my thoughts telling me otherwise. The good sister, daughter, employee, citizen..you name it. I've been policing my every thought, … Continue reading F@*# It ALL..that’s how I feel today..and maybe I will tmrw too.